Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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