We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
