WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
