someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
