@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
