My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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