I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
