whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
