Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize