You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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