What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
