I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize