Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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