I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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