I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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