you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just high enough for therapy.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
