the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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