We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
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My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
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I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?