i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?