Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision

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(803): View more from South Carolina

so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on

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(815): View more from Illinois

im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot

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(320): View more from Minnesota

Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?

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