Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED