Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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