No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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