So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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