I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
