I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
