Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
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I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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