You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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