These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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