R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ketchup is God's man juice
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
