i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
