so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
