So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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