Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
