Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
