I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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