dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
