If i come over, it means nothing
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
