I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
