Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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