CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
