Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
