Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
