yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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