And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
