their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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