i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize