Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Its about making memories worth repressing
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
