I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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