what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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