apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
