Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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