People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
