I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
