Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's shark week go big or go home
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
