i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
