I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
