I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize