I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
