he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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