dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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