And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
