i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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