My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
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my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
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Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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